How willing am I to be weak? How willing am I to be broken, or vulnerable or entirely and utterly dependent upon my Heavenly Daddy?

Just now I was thinking of future plans, plans that I would put into motion that would bypass earthly troubles, plans that would allow me control, plans that would manipulate the outcome the way I want it, and Beloved, Your Spirit spoke to my rebellion, my faltering plans and told my troubled mind, Leave it to Me, If it is according to My Plan for you, I will bring all things together - Peace, be still, and know that I am your Creator.

My Love, thank You for quieting the troubled waters of my soul, For since the beginning of the world men have not heard nor perceived by the ear, nor has the eye seen any God besides You, Who acts for the one who waits for Him. (Is. 64:4) 

Amen!! 

Last night was packed full of His revealing His thoughts towards me, and what a tremendous blessing! Several things He asked me if I am willing to be - to be His child, to be weak and to be broken. He asked me if I am willing to be broken of self, to wean me of destructive bad habits. He asked me if I am willing to be weak, to let go of the need for knowledge - knowledge that would give me power to continue in my bad habits. He also asked me if I am willing to be His Child, to let Him, my Divine Daddy to take care of me and take care of the situation, let Him actually be my Abba, my Heavenly Daddy.

And of course, Him asking me of these three things makes me stop and realize, I've been calling Him Father, but I haven't really been acting like His Child - His Child, who is weak, dependent, trusting, and delighting in her Heavenly Daddy, and delighting in Him not because of what He's given me or giving me but simply, because He's my Daddy.

So, my Beloved, I thank You for Your Spirit which is upon me, and that Your words which You've put in my mouth You will not take out of my mouth, but will be with me forever (Is. 59:21). In this silence, I come to You praising! Amen. 

There's something to be said of silence. I feel akin to Elijah as he ran for his life into a storm, into a whirlwind and than into a cave, only to encounter a still small quiet Voice. I don't understand why I am being called to silence, but it is happening nonetheless. In this particular silence, my Love, I am lifting up my voice in praise for the opportunity to reflect during this time of no conversation, no connection. There's a reason for everything under the sun, and You alone possess the answer. And so I trust in You, because I am Your child, Your infant. For You say to me:

Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, Because of Your enemies, That You may silence the enemy and the avenger. Psalms 8:2

In this matter, out of my mouth You will speak Your strength, and I shall be silent. Amen.

So many thoughts are running through my head this morning; "abiding in His presence", " walking in His presence" walking on Sacred Ground throughout the day", are just to name a few.

Jesus, what is going on?! Something is going on in the supernatural realm that's filtering down to me, because I have never been so connected to You in the last two weeks. It is magnificently amazing! I've never prayed so much, never been so much at peace, never been so blessed, never been so imbued by the Spirit - it's been one massive spiritual gift after another. But it's not about the gift, or the blessing or even the peace, it's been about living in Your presence; it's been about waiting in Your presence - waiting in the context of my life's co-pilot.

But I don't feel like I am waiting, that's the truly astounding part. Any time the old woman within reaches out with her snarly fingers, Spirit, You are there to remind me of my weakness, of my insufficiencies, of my infancy. This constant remembrance causes me to renew and continue the Words You give me that affirm Your presence. Holy Spirit, as I wait on You, You fill me! Thank You! Amen!

There is nothing comparable in the world than to encounter a person who not only believes but intimately knows You. I am reading through 1 John 1:1-4 this moment:

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life— 2 the life was manifested, and we have seen, and bear witness, and declare to you that eternal life which was with the Father and was manifested to us— 3 that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ. 4 And these things we write to you that your joy may be full.

John was trying to convey to those he was writing the full intimacy of knowing You and also trying to conclude that by knowing You, their joy would be completed as his was. There is nothing more contagious than someone who has love and joy written all over their faces and actions from their daily encounters with You. Amen! 

I am still praying and reflecting on Him in this situation but it is becoming easier. I believe the pattern has been set - that I am weak, He is strong; I don't know where this will go, but He does. Daily I have to remind myself this. Amen!

I know I am a child of God, and I take that self awareness quite seriously. It is the driving purpose of my life to be His child, and even though I am in a "grown-up" world, I know I am just a child. So, as His child, there are times I feel like the relationships around me are play blocks - those classic wooden blocks that all children are familiar with. Each block I have in my hand is red, and when all the blocks are put together, they form a heart.

So, at the moment, I have a particular shade of red blocks before me, and I don't know how to put it together. But luckily, I have a Mighty Heavenly Daddy who has put this heart together, and He's kneeling beside me and looking at the blocks with me. He smiles at me. He's already taken the first two blocks and put them together. I hold up the ruby red block in my hand to Him. He takes it and fits with another block from the pile.

It's comforting to sit in His presence and share the building of this ruby red heart with Him. Amen!