Tuesday, May 3, 2016

there but not there

why do you stand afar off, o lord? why do you hide in times of trouble? ps 10:1

I remember a very distinct moment in grad school when I wondered about that very thought. It was late at night and I was laying in bed struggling in prayer about the feeling of an absent God. For years I had been struggling with whether I was in the presence of God. Was I clean enough to enter? It was a constant nagging thought. I can't remember what it was, whether it was a memory verse or a still small voice, but it hit me that it doesn't matter what I feel, God IS there. It wasn't a matter of Him, it was a matter of me.

That revelation was and is still a corner stone of my view of Him. It informs my prayer walk with Him but also adds to the story I share with others. We are our own worse enemies, and nothing is more encouraging to hear another Christ-follower's revelation of how they connect deeper with the Divine. It's also added another absolute to my Christian philosophy.  Regardless of what or where the world is going, He is there.


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