It'll be almost three full months before I see my other half in person. Of course, we speak everyday, skype everyday, and text throughout the day, but it's nothing compared to spending time in-person. But, just considering how our schedules work, I have to ask my heavenly Father, what is the purpose of this particular time apart? It's a thought to ponder upon. Amen. 

The oldie but goldie verses I am claiming at the moment. Intriguing enough, they parallel wonderfully well!

For you have need of endurance so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise (Hebrews 10:36)

It is God who works in you to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:13)

Honestly, I struggle a lot with having consistent devotional time with Jesus. I really do. Come end of the day, I just fall apart. But I had an awakening moment last night after watching this Dove commercial. Women everyday struggle with "self-esteem" aka self-worth. They struggle with their identity, struggle with the concept of beauty, being desirable. It really got me thinking. I know who I am, and I know I am loved. Someone calls me Beautiful, and He also calls me Beloved. So, I started asking myself, how can I show what, how, and who I am to those around me? Zephaniah 3:17 is my love/beauty touchstone with my Creator. How can I live like He lives? Amen.

"In that day..."

I've been getting back into my devotion space with Jesus this week. I've settled on Isaiah, because truly the man is a poet. He was able to take what he saw in visions and translate them so eloquently into words. Anyways, I've gone about reading Isaiah like I read the book of John - thorough analysis through repeated readings, underlining phrases or the use of particular words. Last night I made a particular discovery of another analysis method I completely forgot - patterns. Isaiah 2 - 4 has a repeated phrase, "in that day". The first mention of this day is first in reference to "latter days" (Isaiah 2:2). The particular phrase "in that day" is mentioned several times in each chapter, one in reference to humanity and one in reference to the Creator.

Chapter 2
:11 - the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day
:17 - the LORD alone shall be exalted in that day
:20 - in that day a man shall cast away his idols of silver

Chapter 3
:7 - in that day he will protest, saying, I cannot cure your ills
:18 - in that day the LORD will take away the finery

Chapter 4
:1 - in that day seven women shall take hold of one man saying
:2 - in that day the Branch of the LORD shall be beautiful and glorious

Originally, I thought there was only 3 references to the phrase, but it looks like I am wrong. Now I have to go and see what these other phrases signify. Amen!

This is my last semester of classes, grading, and counselling students. Teaching has been an experience that I've enjoyed for the last three years. I've learnt so much from my students, and have also come away with a few friendships that continue to be a blessing. But I had to tell the department dean that I would not be coming back in the fall. I need to start focusing on my full time job and the myriad of professional development I have to do this year. He will bless, no doubt, but I will miss aspects of teaching (aka student interaction). Amen.

Today, I want to celebrate an amazing Relationship.For so long, I haven't looked back at the path I've travelled and I haven't taken a good look at my travelling Companion. For the last 3 years I have grown emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually exponentially. I've done a lot of forgiving, and apparently forgetting, too. I've also learned that my parents baggage doesn't have to be my baggage, and that my baggage doesn't have to be my childrens'. This relationship with my other half has gone from passionate to deep profoundness as we learn what it means to communicate, love and respect one another.  Through the Grace of Jesus, I am being led down of path of mental and physical self awareness and making gradual life style changes.

Today, I celebrate my amazing Relationship with Jesus. We've come a long way. Amen!

I will always be moving, and I will never arrive. I am always evolving and I will never plateau. Yes, I was created this way, yet I live in a culture that strives for the final destination. They are sold on the once-I-arrive-I-will-be-happy song and dance, but we were created to be sojourners. We are voyagers of time and space, hence it makes sense to be called strangers in this world, called to be pilgrims. We were created to learn and expand and cycle through yet again. I am learning to say to myself each day, I will never arrive, I am travelling through. There is something poignant in that very thought. It makes me realize I don't have to rush through life. I don't have to panic about achieving the impossibles, because really I will never arrive. I will attain each level, but one must continue forward. 

And here is the interesting clash. Our humanity is attracted to motion, yet we want to bog down, yet when we bog down, restlessness causes us into motion again. War wages within. I believe we were created to constant evolution, we were created to ever learn. How else can one explain eternity? The idea of living forever causes some to panic, and it would if in the mind frame of the one who thinks they know everything or are comfortable in their ignorance. 

So, I was created to learn about the way I tick tock - even in my sinful nature. I am called to question my habits, but also how they are formed. But most of the time I need direction, guidance as to what questions I need to ask, where I need to look, what I need to focus on, and for this I need to go to the Master Designer. Jesus, thank You for being my travelling Companion through this time in Your Space. Amen. 

The Spirit of Worship

There's a lot going on in this cranium of mine, at the moment. My life style is perhaps the biggest thought in motion at the moment. I am thinking life style in context to my health - my eating and exercising habits. I am also thinking of my social and spiritual health - my lack of worship and fellowshipping. I have very much been drinking from broken cisterns (Jer. 2:13), for quite a long time now, however, the biggest purposeful change this year is my brain. Yes, I am changing my thought patterns.

I guess I am reorganizing my brain after a nature. I am trying to be purposeful in finding what works and what doesn't. I am trying to find what fits with me, rather than trial and error and just giving up. In the spiritual health spectre, I made a vital discovery this morning. Singing is so crucial to my worship experience; it is the one spectrum of worship that I love and find great pleasure in. Singing to Him calms my soul, brings peace to my being and ushers me into His presence. In other words, singing literary changes my attitude. My I-don't-care attitude has propelled me past my devotionals countless of times.

How is this all revelational? I haven't been singing in my personal time for quite sometime. I had lost my mini-hymn a year ago and never thought to buy a new hymn because I didn't think singing was relevant. But it is, and especially to me. You see, I grew up singing and playing hymns on the piano. Singing, especially hymns, is nostalgic. Singing those hymns is core to my worship experience because it's been there since the beginning of my self-realized relationship with God.

So this morning as I sang, tears began running down my face. Singing brought me back Home, and now singing is the key to my worship experience. Amen.