I am giving up much in my pursuit of Christ. But I realize at the same time, I am gaining much. I am becoming sensitive to the world around me and in my discovery, finding pain, sorrow, anguish, hatred, chaos. And I am not running away from this, but embracing this view into the world I live in. I can see the heart of Christ in all of this, the sorrow, pain, and anguish piercing each cell of His heart. What I am beholding in humanity is controlled chaos. It doesn't frighten me, but to the heart, it saddens me. I see what the world is without Christ. I see what the world is without the law of self-sacrificing love. A world teetering on the brink of eternity. Heavenly Father, continue to show me the unfolding of this world's last history. Amen