Listen to Me, you idiot

idiot |ˈidēət| 
noun informal
   a stupid person.
    Yes, we are all idiots. We are daft, ignorant and quite self-centered and not much knowledge comes out of self-centeredness. The word idiot comes from the Old French via Latin idiota 'ignorant person'. We are particularly idiotic when we refuse to listen to sound advice from others. There are two types of idiots in Isaiah 51, those who realize they are idiots (Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, You who seek the LORD 1) and those who refuse to recognize their idioticiness (Listen to Me, My people and give ear to Me, O My nation 4). The word idiot is not a pleasant label and definitely negative, but that's what I feel at times about myself, and at times about people when it comes to knowing Jesus/God. Yet, Jesus doesn't call us idiots, instead He calls us a much nicer word - children, and treats us thus - quietly, tenderly, lovingly, and sometimes sternly. 
    But I will admit I am an idiot at times, because it wakes me up to dysfunctional self and makes me realize I need a saviour. 
    

Taking comfort for granted

I think my biggest challenge is taking comfort for granted. I become complacent in my comfort, and I wonder if that is the same as the comfort Jesus promises in Isaiah 51:12, I, even I, am He who comforts you. But I understand there are times I am definitely not comfortable, and this particular verse is definitely for those days because it continues with

Who are you that you should be afraid of a man who will die and of the son of man who will be made like grass? (13) And you forget the LORD your Maker, Who stretched out the heavens and laid the foundations of the earth; You have feared continually every day because of the fury of the oppressor, when he has prepared to destroy. And where is the fury of the oppressor? 

What we choose to believe will be what holds us captive. If I daily reflect on my woeful state, my "oppressors", yes, of course, the awesome all consuming powerfulness of Jesus begins to dim, diminish and fade away. The key is positive reflection aka known as praise. So, today I praise Him who divided the sea whose waves roared - the LORD of hosts is His name. He has put His words in my mouth; He has covered me with the Shadow of His hand, that He may plant the heavens, lay the foundations of the earth and say to me, You are my person (15-16). Amen

The quote for this week (see side bar) is of particular importance. After tonight's long discussion with close friends on the state of the world, state of our society, and state of our morals, I was hit over the head with the hard realization of the utter despair of our general state. The funny thing about despair is that, as a Christ-follower, it doesn't hold a lot of weight. Many people make the motion of looking at the world and despair, look at themselves and get depressed and simply leave it at that. However, for those who know Jesus and have an inkling of what He's capable of, there's rest in that (again, see sidebar). 

It's all about muscles. Or in another illustration, it's all about habits. Whatever the case, it's pathways. No, no...it's about consistency. Yes, it's about consistency. It's all about going from theorizing, talking about, writing about to just plain doing. I finally got fed up about my physicality and hired a trainer. Yes, I am now eating cleaner and pushing this body through the hurdles. Since beginning the self campaign of being healthier, it's been an off and on journey (courtesy of two weeks of travelling). My trainer stressed consistency. Um, yes, I definitely need to do that, so I purposed in my heart that I couldn't just do 3 days a week in the gym, I would to do 6 (I am on day 4) since if I am going to make it a habit of exercising, I need to make a serious habit. I am starting to see my endurance increase, and to see those muscles defining...

...and it was the muscles part that got me this morning as I was reading Isaiah 40. God saying For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you, 'Fear not, I will help you". Ah, okay, well Jesus, I definitely need help with my spiritual muscles. Right, I need to spend more time expanding those muscles. And of course, this made more sense to me in this current frame of physicality.

So, I need to schedule more time in lifting my mental muscles in reading and studying the WORD. Makes sense, even more so in light of what I am doing in the physical realm. 

It's been a while. I haven't done much of anything artsy or remotely written inspired. I am living in a rat race of trying to work, breath and let go at the end of the day. I don't have a lot of alone time anymore and I am not complaining. This is merely an observation. Life has taken an entirely new direction since I've started dating. My mind was entirely caught up with my darling, but slowly, as the months continued their march, I began to disentangle myself from the all encompassing "us". I am learning to separate identity when appropriate and go with the flow when "us" arises.

The biggest hurdle at the moment is the inevitable I Do's and actually getting to that place in time. There is a gargantuan hill of paperwork to climb, but all must go according to the time line, truly, there is no other way. Friends, family are always suggesting short cuts, but really people, there is no other way. So he and I are enjoying the ride, getting to know each other better, and of course, only confirming what we've already known all along - we are fitted for each other. But I think the greatest blessing, for me at least, is the transition of self. I am taking each measured moment in this discovery of us, and finding out what I am made up of, and who he is, and what God is really about in the mix of us.

One day at a time, right?

Today we did this personality analysis testing - essentially it was a workshop sponsored by work. It left me mentally drained, and if anything, as I reflect  this evening, a little depressed. Most of the information was a pretty accurate snapshot of my current personality, but the reason I am depressed is because I've been pegged. The message that was getting across was, it's okay to be fine with one's weaknesses but a person should focus on their strengths instead. As a person who was designed to grow and expand for eternity, I found this depressing. I realize some are introverted and others are extroverted. What I could surmise is that certain actions are associated with certain personality types. I don't disagree with that. I am an introvert, but in all honesty, I want to be challenged on taking extroverted actions at times. Anyways, I am just thankful that at the end of the day, I can come to the Master Designer and be assured that man's ways are definitely not the only way. Phew!

My 20s were stellar. I travelled. I made friends. I had good healthy fun. I look back at pictures and think, wow, I did so much. My 30s will have a markable difference. Marriage is on the horizon. I am no longer doing everything on my own. So, I look at m 30s and think, I will travel, I will make new friends and keep the old, and I will have fun, but not alone! I loved my 20s, and I know I will love my 30s as well.