Last year had such purpose and vision and this year, well, I'm stumbling a bit. Jesus, give me a vision and a purpose as to what I should do, how I should grow, what I should say. Thank You!

This year I will climb mountains, swim rivers, and stroll across hilltops

So another year has come and gone. A new year is upon me, and I can't help but see this year as a Big Year (birding terminology), the Great Adventure. This year I want to see how many mountains (metaphorically, speaking) I can conqueror, how many rivers I can swim, how many hilltops I can stroll. I want to push the limits of Life and see to what lenghts I can go. I want to pursue my Beloved in all of this; I want to be able to see His face in the surface of this Grand Adventure, to see where He is taking me in Our Love Story. This will truly be an intriguing year!

Another revelational moment: I make excuses to my Jesus. Why in the world am I getting away with this? He lets me walk all over Him. He waits for me in the morning to spend time with Him, and as I lay in bed, I make excuses to myself not to get out. If I made excuses to actual people, people I can see, here and touch, I'd get into serious trouble. Hey you, why were you late for work? Oh it took me forever getting out of bed. If anything, I should be accountable to Him first and foremost, but often times (most times), I am accountable to Him last. This is not good, folks!!! If I am not accountable to my God, how can I be accountable to my husband, or my children? At the moment, I am getting by with "enough" accountablility to those around me. But truthfully, is "enough" good enough? No. I need to do better. Beloved, help me in this area!! Amen

I sit here absorbing the nuances of the evening twilight; cup of tea in hand, and the sound of guitar and singing just below me. I sip slowly and just bask in utter contentment; it's been absolute ages since I've felt this kind of peace. My soul is at rest. I am wonderfully loved by the most amazing Individual in the world, in the universe. Each day I am pulled closer to Him by strands of experiences, of memories, of love poured out through words, thoughts, and actions. Each day is a strengthened strand that draws me closer to His heart. Amen. 

I've been reflecting on this phrase of "Seek His Heart". Seeking His Heart in all matters means to give up my own opinions, my own desires, my own options. The adventure in looking is not accepting what He has to say, but desiring, straining to hear what He has to say. Not accepting but desiring after, His words - knowing they are gold, they are pearls, they are life and breath. My intimate daily walk with my Beloved Jesus is absolutely, astoundingly, breath-takingly beautiful. Here is a Man who knows me and when I seek after His heart, His heart reflects back to me my own heart, and ironically, it's condition. But the more I find Him out, look for Him, speak to Him, the more I am beginning to fade. I am disappearing into Him and it is wonderful!! This is what I've always wanted and now I understand how to obtain this Pearl of Great Worth. Amen.

My new byphrase is, Finding the Heart of Jesus. Last night, I asked Him what was His heart in the matter, and in turn He reflected the question back at me and answered me by showing me the situation of my heart. Hmmmm, His heart is otherness. By looking out for His heart, He looks out for mine. Now that's harmony!!!