" I can't imagine myself with him" has been one particular energetic thought running through the corridor's of my mind today. I've imagined myself with every guy I've been involved with, imagined marriage, imagined the possibility, and that imagination never produced results. And now, I say this more so, because I can't imagine myself with him - I can't see the future. I've stopped imagining and have begun living in the moment. I have today, but tomorrow is in my Beloved's hands. What I want is irrelevant to tomorrow, but what I need is here in today. I can't  imagine myself with him, because whatever is in tomorrow is beyond imagination, tomorrow is in the palm of His hand. I am reminded of these words: Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain (Psalms 127:1). I imagine in vain! He is building up whatever needs to be built, and I rest easy in the fact He is building this relationship, not I! Amen. 

As I contemplate this guy situation, I am repeatedly reminded of the parallel to my relationship with Jesus. Every time I reflect on how the situation is spinning out into my life, I am reminded of His thoughts towards me. In the near future I will be visiting a particular individual, and I do admit that I contemplate where will we go once we've met. I know I can go the distance (physically and metaphysically), but I am logical about this possible commitment. I am aware of the financial state of this individual since he is a student. The question that arises in my mind is, I can make the distance, but does he want me to make it? But than He pops into my mind and says, "I'm here despite the distance, just turn around and see Me."

The Lover of my soul always has words for me concerning this situation, the operative being always. He not only speaks to me about this matter, but He also always moves in mysterious ways. Just the other day, I had to put a question to this individual, but I didn't know how to word it, and instead this individual asked me the question. Talk about moving mysteriously in a tremendous way! Every moment with this individual is God-led, God-designed, and God-inspired. I am reminded repeatedly that I am here to enjoy the journey, and at times I don't even think of the designation. I am reminded of the strength of my Beloved Jesus and His bountiful grace, mercy and patience towards me, and it is no wonder that I love Him so. I love Him because He first loved me and each day He pours out His love onto me! Amen. 

It happens every week, and the entire experience I equate to sitting on the edge of my seat and waiting. Of course, I have no idea what I am waiting for, but it happens every week. It's a repeated cycle of - there's a connection with this particular guy and I wait for something else to happen, anticipation begins to germinate but as the week progresses, silence and I let go of that anticipation and give over all thoughts, hopes, and excitement into my Beloved's hands. It's the only way I keep sane, but also grow at the same time. I don't give up, that I learned a few months ago, but I have learned I am being torn (but He will heal), I am being stricken (but He will bind me up) [Hosea 6:1]. The only thing I can compare it to is the crushing of a rose so that the fullest of its fragrance is expelled to its surroundings. But I praise Him, because I am not my own, and my time is not mine, and my will and act is not mine to direct - for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to His good purpose (Philippians 2:13). You have no idea how much comfort I take in those Words to me for I know what He says will be accomplished because - the Words that go out of His mouth will not return to HIm empty, but will accomplish what He desires and achieves the purpose from which He sends it (Isaiah 55:11). I am His daughter, His Treasure, His Precious One - truly I am in the Best Hands. Amen. 

My Beloved has yet again taken my foolish mind and revealed to it a raindrop of wisdom that will last me a life time - the blessing of knowing a man comes with each encounter, not after dating, and not after the wedding bells, but here in the moment of interchanging thoughts put into words and actions. My Beloved took my runaway, self-indulgent self and said, "Daughter, slow down, be at peace, be still and know this man", and the more I come to know my Beloved, the more I come to know this man. Now that He's creeps me along this path, I am seeing the slight rustle of this thought or the minuscule movement of that motion. He is absorbing me into His timing, and I know without any doubt, when it is finished, it will beautiful! AMEN!

The art of writing letters is dead. No one can write about their day with the zeal of complete abandonment to the pure artistic form of words. To write words to someone that bump along with rhythm and although prose, could perhaps be mistaken for poetry, a picture painted with words. A well written letter is treasured and pulled out repeatedly to be read, mulled over, laughed over, sorrowed over - its words resonating to the core of the reader. I miss well written letters...

The art of writing letters is dead, or so I thought. The other day I received an email that I gobbled up immediately, because, well, it's from a highly favoured individual. However, as I reread the email to eventually compose a response, I paused. I was struck by the greeting, and I mulled on that for a few hours. I returned to reread and put down my response, and my attention was arrested by the clever wording and poetic rhythm of those words - and than a greater revelation struck me - this was a well written letter!

I scanned through the words, finding a beautiful rhythm of prose that felt to me as poetry, and I fell in love. What beauty! What magnificent composition! Long has it been since my eyes have rested upon words that entrapped my imagination! And truly, what a blessing! So I pause, and pray that I can pen a worthy response. Amen!

In the right moment, the highest compliment a man can give to a woman is by calling her "precious daughter of God." He has evaluated her true value but also recognizes the relationship she has with her heavenly Daddy and respects and honours that daughter/Father relationship! This morning, I had the wonderful pleasure of being called such by an extraordinary son of God, and as I've mediated on that greeting, I've come to realize that's the most beautifully pure compliment I've ever received! Don't tell me I look great today, don't tell me that dress or that whatever looks great on me, don't thank for this or that - say, "Good morning, precious daughter of God". AMEN!

The one thing that I absolutely love about my relationship with Jesus is His stellar sense of humour!! He knows exactly what to do or say to make me laugh! It's not just that I know that He loves me, He's gracious towards me, He's forgiving and faithful, but that He's also so personal! This is how well He knows me...He can put a smile on my face and give me laughter for my soul. Amen!!